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| IF MAN CAN NOT SOLVE THIS PROBLEM, I CAN. |
| Colorado |
| Joined: May.01.05 |
| Forum Posts: 61 |
| Reviews: 4 |
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A review of the race Pyro Elf
A review of Pyro Elf by Drow Emperor
Introduction
This race is strange. It is written a little clunky and in a "tongue-in-cheek" style. As it is written, this is not something I can use in a game.
Cons
My first suggestion is to read through racial descriptions in the Player's Handbook. Try and adopt the tone and style of that writing. It will help give your ideas credibility and improve its application to generic game settings.
Second, please provide more detail. The background given for this race's origin is too vague. This is your creation. Do not leave important details like origin up to every DM to determine.
"Personality" would be improved by following the PHB as a template. Actually, this would improve all the detail lines. 'Relations' particularly disappointed me, as this was a VERY abbreviated run-down of the race's general attitude toward other races. It did not mention at all how other races might normally receive the Pyro Elf when encountered.
Names could have been a real special feature of this race. As it is, the author simply left this up to the player to choose from any of the basic elven names.
If the Pyro Elf is on fire, darkvision seems a bit redundant. But I can understand why it was included.
They get a -2 to Swim checks but die if "submerged" for 4 rounds (without a Fortitude save). I would suggest you offer a very difficult DC Fortitude save when the Pyro Elf is submerged in water. I would also suggest you give them a weakness for water-based and cold-based attacks, possibly double damage should they fail their save.
As strictly a creative suggestion, and feel free to ignore this one, I would offer you rename the race "Pyre Elf".
Pros
The mechanics seem balanced.
Conclusion
This author simply needs practice writing. This is a good effort for a young writer. I hope my critical review of this submission does not dissuade them from continuing to practice and share their work. That is the only way to get better. It is obvious the author is creative. Through experience, how well that creativity is expressed will improve.
 Ratings |
| 4 |
Playability: I do not consider this to be a playable PC race.
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| 8 |
Originality: Highly original ideas.
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| 9 |
Game Mechanics: Mechanics seem sound.
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| 4 |
Style: Style is crass and immature.
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| 6 |
Overall: Needs work... shows promise.
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